I think I've been forgotten

By my best friend from high school. I never hear from her anymore. I'm not sure that she remembers me. I'm never in her blog, she's never then when I call, and she's never online anymore. Now I know she's busy and I know she's got a life away from me but I really feel like I'm losing her. See even when she does talk to me well...she will talk for a bit, then get busy again doing something else, so I never really get to talk to her. It makes me sad. I care about her and I miss her. I always want what's best for her but you know I feel like I've just really lost her.

Anyways...I'm good, I'm going to be quitting my job to take care of my kids more. I'll have our little girl all day and then the boys after school. I'll work on finding a part time job at night so that we have some extra income. I'm excited to get to kind of be the mom. That will be good.

Life is good

Do you ever?

Do you ever get one of those e-mails that you don't know what to do with? That you have no idea how to handle? That no matter how much you really do want to hear what's in it you don't? The one that makes you speachless and was totally out of the ordinary. The one that confuses the hell out of you making you wonder if you totally missed something? I feel that way right now. I got this email from an old friend of mine that really shocked and amazed me. I'm not sure, well I don't know waht to think or what to do...or even what to really say to him...He's a great guy and he's really sweet but with my hubby and my friends and his girlfriend and stuff...well I don't know, it just means like I'm even more lost and confused then before. He really screws with my head and doesn't always tell me everything (he doesn't lie, just doesn't tell me the whole truth you know?)but I'm just well...lost. He's...he's a good guy, I care about him. I do, and you know I just want him know how important he is to me. So if he reads this, You're important to me.



For the rest of you, Thanksgiving, oh yes, rocked out loud. We had a good time on the trip, did lost of swimming, ate lots of food. The kids had a great time. I even kicked a field goal! Yay me! I rock.

I saw Harry Potter on the friday after it came out. Very good movie. I went with my best friend as well as my Hubby. So it was really fun. We all had a great time and had to stand in line for an hour and a half. We ate pizza and drank pop in line and almost knocked out the annoying kid behind us. What an idiot!

Stuff

Well today is the one year mark sense mom died. It sucks really but I've been taking it well I think. I haven't cried. Although, I haven't had much feeling at all...I'm trying not to think about it. I just would rather not feel then have to feel that kind of pain.

Thanks giving will be spent with my family up in Idaho. I hope it will be fun...

I'll report more later...

Princess Sparklepants (that's for you Brandon!) =)

Fine Fine Line...

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

Some people can't be fake enough...

You know what pisses me off...when girls who are dating your friends act like they care about you and who you are. And they act like they give a damn about what you've been up to or what you've been doing. And if she doesn't act fake enough threw all that then she says she's worried because he hasn't talked to you in a few days...as Ron White would say...BULLLLLLLSHIT!

Anyways, it was a great day at work, I looked really good and we had such a good time being dressed up yesterday for halloween we where all happy but tired. I dressed up like an auto macanic. I had black stuff on my face and arms too. We turned our team into a cave and that was cool too. Everyone dressed up almost. It was lots of fun.

Then I came home and did nothing. but that's ok, I didn't need to do anything. It was really nice to just relax here at home. But it was so cold last night I don't think many children went trick-o-treating. Which was ok, because now I have candy....MMMMM candy. We watched "With out a Paddle" the night before so that was really fun. I enjoyed it a lot I laughed my head off. What a great movie.

It's been just short of a year...Mom is still gone, it was really hard to grasp that today. I've been just heart broken...here the time has come to remember her and I'm still so confused about the whole thing...life has changed so much lately. I don't know what's going on in my life any more. I miss my mom...sometimes I cry at night and just want my mommy. I know that's childish but I don't care...I need you mom...I need you really bad...I'm so lost Mom...I'm so lost...





"Don't Bother" -Shakira