System has gone on the brink...

I hit that low point today. I miss my friend yes, I keep telling myself it's what's right but I hit that point where you're sitting there eating a TV dinner and you realize...that they don't miss you and that they aren't ever going to try and work it out. That you have a hard time not crying because you feel like a total loser because you don't have any other friends who actually want to hang out because they are too busy and all you want to do is go home and hang out with your friends from high school.

I don't believe in depression so I am sure that's not it. I won't take meds, I've just reached the breaking point here. I want to move back to WI, or out to CA. I just want to leave Utah, this state sucks, everything that has gone wrong in my life has happened in this state! No offence to someone who lives here but I jsut haven't had anything good happen while I was here. I take that back, I did meet Rory, and he loves me and always forgives me but other then that. NOTHING good has come of Utah.

Sorry for venting, I just had so much shit to do at work to night, now I'm like the fucking cleaning crew too. I had to shampoo the entire Responce center room and my bosses office all by myself tonight. Well it's been um...an intresting night. Two 12 hour shifts in a row will take it out of you. Oh well. My schedule is going to be changing and really sucky for a while. Yea...life will go on, I'm sure...

Boo is coming to visit soon...I hope, that's going to be awsome. I had some plans but I'll do some of them differently. Anways, I'm done, I'm good too! I fell much much better. I do, if anyone reads this thanks so much.