New Life

So my mother passed away November 21, 2004 at 5:00PM CST. It's so sad. I know she's not suffering but I hate being with out her. There have been so many times I wanted to call her but I know she won't be there. I miss her so much. I didn't know if i should be upset or mad or what.I just can't tell anyone how I feel. I feel like noone understands. I know they try but nothing helps. I just want to scream! I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I want to throw myself into a hole that will consume me.I want my life to be over, there is no life with out her.I feel as if my soul has been ripped out.

If I didn't have Boo I don't know what I'd do. She's been my life line. And planning her wedding makes it better.

I want my life as it is to end. I want to be happy. Is there a way for that to happen? Can I be happy? Why is life so confusing? I have morbid thoughts. I want to die. I want to slit my thin existance from this world.

Thanks for everyone who called and has been there for me....Life sucks and noone loves me...Love suck...you fall and get hurt